Now that we're at Thursday, let us reflect on everything we've accomplished at Free Refills this week. On Sunday night, we found ourselves facing a very busy week that would largely keep us away from the computer, an empty queue of ready-to-publish pieces, and no real ideas for how to proceed. Then we began to zero draft, still with no ideas but running with who-knows-where-it-came-from impulse that it might be fun to play around with the weird superlatives that pepper the speech of the person most people agree that most people agree is our president, which is to say he occupies the White House and does, sort of, the president's job. And now consider what a terrific set of pieces we've been able to write via linguistic contortions, self-circularity, and no ideas except playing with that language. We've come up with a week of pieces that everyone agrees is pretty much genius, and those hideously un-American people who don't agree that everyone agrees that these are terrific pieces, really the best pieces, probably feel amused anyway, and when even the people who don't agree smile and chuckle and thus are forced to agree, then they really must be the best pieces, which also forces them to agree.
They're forced to agree or we'll deport their undiscerning asses back where they came from, and by that I don't mean spatially, since many of them are from here, and also because Free Refills refuses to even appear to countenance the racism implicit in the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the current administration, but instead temporally, back to a time where there's no internet and no concept of an internet, and then they'll woefully agree that when the internet does finally get invented, a terrific site, really the best side, was/will be this one site called Free Refills.
Should have agreed all along, eh, Time Traveler? Enjoy your bubonic plague, Time Traveler.