Earlier today, while doing the dishes, I ran the garbage disposal, and up from the pipes arose the foulest stench I have ever encountered. It mixed the foul miasma of death, the rawest of sewage, and the black ooze that courses through the dank tubes of Donald Trump's so-called heart.

After the initial disgust and horror abated, I was left with the deepest sense of betrayal. I thought I'd never been anything but good to that disposal. How could it do this to me?

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