Before bed, in the dark of night, I realized I was again ignoring my own teachings, and the stress I was feeling was proof. It was a week before the solstice, and energetically I was supposed to be slowing down, but I was not slowing down. Of course there was the hot buzzing feeling of intense stress in my body. Of course there was. How could it be otherwise?
There were things to be done. I had Christmas shopping to do, and it was eleven days until Christmas, and as is true almost all of the time, I had few ideas for gifts, imagination for gifting not being one of my strengths.
What else? Later that day, I was to go away for the first part of the weekend, and with a good-sized group, and there was a lot of freneticism in that planning, and that freneticism demanded my attention and energy. At the end of our time away, we would all rush back to Denver in order to go to a party. It would probably be a fun party, but it would be a highly social experience immediately after a few days of highly social experience. And then a few days later, there would be holiday travel, and then the holidays themselves, and then five straight days of work on the mountain, and then the excitement of New Year's Eve, and then I would have friends visiting. Everything I just described was intended to be experienced as joyful, and much of it I experienced joyfully, but all of this came at a time when my body was asking me as best it could to slow the fuck down.