My goal for today was to finish a piece I started drafting a week ago about a ski day at Breckenridge I shared with my friend Andy on Wednesday, February 28th. The idea of the piece was to write about conditions as I found them, while also discussing the ways in which I was practicing and exploring flow on the mountain that day.
I aimed to have the piece up this past Monday, but I struggled with revisions. The piece is a bit of an experiment. I'm trying to establish a certain expertise, in hopes of ultimately creating interest in my coaching business. The piece ended up longer than I expected, and there's a certain unwieldiness to its form. I got a little down on myself when it didn't come together easily, and since those initial revisions I've ended up putting the piece off. Today was the first day I've picked up the z.d. since Monday.
I'm still going to publish the fucking thing. The discussion of conditions may no longer be the least bit topical, but the greater experiment remains worth following through on.
But I'm not going to publish it tonight. It was already after 6pm when I pulled out the zero-draft print-out to get to work, and after a few minutes I found myself saying (perhaps in response to the rather anguished sentiments that drove yesterday's piece), "What exactly am I hoping to achieve by holding myself to the hard goal of finishing the piece tonight? Could I actually be better served by giving myself a little space on my Friday night? Tonight, could I not practice being a little gentler with myself?"
Apparently part of me is speaking wisdom tonight, and I'm going to listen to that part. A major guiding idea of Free Refills is to be supportive of my broadest and most ambitious career goals. To what end does practicing hardship and struggle serve?
Sometimes things can just be easy. Happy Friday. Look for the piece on Monday.