Free Refills

I didn’t post the link to Friday’s TTW piece. You can find it here. While you’re over there, you should read Jerry’s latest, too.

(I really need to learn how to automate posting these things to the homepage.)

I woke up last night at eleven fifty-something, a time I never wake up. I had to pee, so I got up and went to the bathroom. During those moments of relieving repose (which all of us know so well), I realized I’d forgotten to publish. “Well,” I said to myself, “I guess my streak is over.”

I went back into the bedroom. The red glow of the clock read 11:56. I thought about it for a moment. I actually had a piece ready to go, I’d just forgotten to publish it. On the other hand, burying myself back under the covers was very tempting.

“Fuck it,” I said, and walked into my office. I published with two minutes to spare.

I’ve been feeling recently that I’m kind of just going through the motions with my writing. That I’m essentially wasting my time, pretending that the work is important, using my current approach as a distraction from digging into something deeper. And honestly that may all be true. But I think again to that moment, eleven fifty-something, a time I never wake up, and of a swirl of energy given voice, whispering in my ear: “Wake up. Going through the motions is better than no motion at all.”

A few recalcitrant souls will fight with me about it. “But a business has no incentive to honor the mug!” they’ll cry.

“It’s not about incentives,” I’ll reply. “The mug entitles the bearer to free refills. That’s what makes it such a great idea.”

“But then they should get the money from the idea!”

“No way. It was my idea.”

“But the idea doesn’t make any sense!”

Ah. Now that’s an argument that merits a bit more discussion.

1. I was pleased to see that my skills at dealing with the kinds of things that can throw me off energetically have improved over the past year. This time last year, I was sleeping regularly through the night (which hadn’t been true in many, many years), but the stimulation of Vegas was too much for me, and I didn’t sleep a whole lot while I was there. This year, Vegas’ crazy energy affected me less; I had no real problem sleeping. That’s a hugely positive development.

2. This is my third year in a row and fourth overall of traveling to Vegas for the MLK weekend tournament, and this is the sparsest I’ve seen the crowds. Usually the NFL playoffs bring people out in droves. Hypothesis: fewer people visiting Vegas is a leading indicator of trouble in the economy. People only go to Vegas when they feel they can afford to throw some money away. So if we’re in a recession by the election, well, you heard it here first.

3. I’ve been to Las Vegas many, many times, and I’ve been pretty naive about just how common prostitutes are there. I can think of exactly one time that I’ve ever been approached–I guess I haven’t given off the vibe that I’m looking for that kind of thing.

   Now, there’s no shortage of women in Las Vegas who dress like hookers. You see packs of drunk girls in short, short dresses and high, high heels tottering towards the nightclubs all the time. But that’s the thing: they travel in packs. No woman who isn’t working puts on that short, short dress and those high, high heels to go hang out by herself after midnight in a casino bar.

   And once you start to notice those dressed-to-catch-the-eye, disinterestedly-playing-video-poker-while-sipping-a-cocktail-by-herself women, you realize they’re everywhere.

4. At my age, the energetic cost of a weekend-long soccer tournament is substantial. It’s only worth it if it’s really fun.

Despite how careful I’ve been to prepare people for the sheer greatness of the Idea, when I get to this point and finally actually introduce them to the Great Idea, most people are a little dumbfounded. Which is fine; great ideas often take a little while to be truly understood. People usually have some questions:

Where does it work?

It works everywhere. You see, the mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

But why does a business honor the mug?

Because the mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

Well then who gets the money?

I do. It was my idea.

And if a business doesn’t want to honor the mug?

You’ll just have to explain to them, as you would to a recalcitrant child, that the mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

Does it work in coffee shops?

Yes. The mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

Does it work in restaurants?

Yes. The mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

Does it work in pubs? Bars? Breweries?

Yes, yes and yes. Please be responsible.

After asking several or all of these questions, this tends to happen: My interlocutor will fall silent as she considers everything she just heard. I’ll wait patiently because I know what’s coming next. And then she’ll say, “That’s a pretty great idea.”

And I’ll say, “I know.”

You’ll find today’s piece over at Training Tiger Woods. While you’re there, make sure you read Jerry’s latest piece, on working with goals. It’s excellent stuff.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “He drops a bomb like that in the middle of the workweek and expects me to keep functioning? How the hell am I supposed to concentrate now?”

I told you it was a great idea.

The great idea is this:

The mug entitles the bearer to free refills.

The mug costs like $100, or maybe $200.

That’s not the great idea, either.

If you’re just getting here, you should probably start by reading parts one, two, three, and four.

Are you ready to hear about my great idea?

My idea is this:

You can buy this mug. It’s a really nice mug. It’s made out of stainless steel. It’s double-walled for insulation, is dishwasher safe, has a convenient handle and a spill-proof lid and is just the right size for your favorite beverage. You can easily attach it to a carabiner so you can carry it on your backpack or utili-belt so you can have it handy if you arrive at a party where you need to bring your own mug, like at Burning Man or the Oscars.

(Back when I first had this idea, I described the mug as being made out of plastic, because that’s what insulated beverage mugs were made of back then. These days, drinking out of plastic beverage containers doesn’t seem like maybe as great an idea as it once did, considering things like plastic pollution, that plastic is made from petroleum, and that plastic leaches chemicals that do things like mess up your endocrine system and make people deny climate change. Even great ideas need to evolve.)

It’s handsome, the mug. A mug you’d be proud to be seen carrying. A mug that makes others say, “Look at that smart, handsome person, carrying his/her mug and enjoying a delicious beverage. That person is a model human being. Henceforth, I will strive to be more like that sophisticated, rippling-abbed soul.”

None of that stuff is the great idea, by the way. Insulated, spill-proof beverage mugs are a really great idea, but not breathing-level great, and, since they existed before I thought to think about them, I can’t really claim that they are specifically my idea.