Who Is It For? (Still Taking Stock)

We're just about a week away from the end of Free Refills season seven. Seven quarters, now, of hitting my quota and putting up a piece every weekday. I'm proud of that. But in the course of asking myself the question, "Is this working?" I found myself asking a related question: "Who is it for?"

That question offered me the insight to see the limitations of my current approach. I get my drafting done. I put my pieces up. But what is the reason I do these things? I do them because I promised that I would. And to whom did I make those promises? Well, I made them to everyone. That's why I mention them all the time.

But to what extent should you, the reader, even care? Well, to the extent that my example or my writing teaches you something, then I guess you might care. But otherwise, that I publish every day, or that I'm constantly drafting new material, probably interests you exactly to the extent that you care about me and want me to succeed. (And thank you for that; it means a lot.)

All that would suggest that, really, I made those promises to myself. You've heard me talk about them, and you're rooting for me, but if I miss a day or a quota, it's not going to affect your life much. It isn't even likely to much affect your impression of me. "So he missed a day," you'd probably say. "It's hardly life-or-death."

So let's answer my thesis question: What I've been doing has been primarily for me. And up until now, that's been fine. Over the past two years of the Free Refills project, I've proved a great deal to myself about myself. I've found new levels of dedication and strength. I've earned a quiet sense of pride about my work.

But if I want other people, especially people who don't already know me, to give a shit about it, I need to do my work in service to other people. I need to offer of myself. This will, I'm sure, demand of me a new level of openness, of risk.

I'm ready.

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